Friday, April 29, 2011

Dog Days

Happiness, hit her like a train on a track, Coming towards her, stuck still no turning back, She hid around corners and she hid under beds, She killed it with kisses and from it she fled, With every bubble she sank with a drink, And washed it away down the kitchen sink...

I tracked out the two mile trek a couple days ago. It is exactly two miles from my apartment to North Kansas City Highschool, which sits right across a very nice park, complete with slides and swings (my personal favorite. Everything can be solved when swinging).

My feet started their pounding and the hills gave way into glorious decent just as I was about ready to die. So I made it the two miles to the park and found a swing and let my mind go.

I have a job. It took three hours for an offer to come through from a lab in Olathe that focuses on drug metabolism for pharmaceutical companies. It even has health insurance... woah.

I have an apartment. Granted it's still in all sorts of disarray, but it's a place to come home.

I don't have a car. I'm driving my mom's, which is great, but.... it's my mom's. So I get to go searching for a new one because the old Lexus (which I have been telling you all to not judge based on its brand is a piece of junk after all. Who knew?... oh wait... I did)

When the swing was going about as high as it could, I pulled my arms through the chains and jumped right as the swing reached the top of its arch.

My feet landed, and I started the two miles back home. And I just ran...

...Run fast for your mother run fast for your father, Run for your children for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your love and your longing behind you, Can't carry it with you if you want to survive

Monday, April 25, 2011


If today was not an endless highway if tonight was not a crooked trail,if tomorrow wasn't such a long time then lonesome would mean nothing to me at all...

I have an interview tomorrow. I'm a little excited, not nearly as nervous as the last time and ready to tell my story again. This interview is for a lab job. One I'm not super thrilled about, but it is getting more and more appealing as I have less and less to do.

The only downside is that I found the perfect job for me. And when I say perfect, I mean perfect. It's a job that helps churches plant new churches overseas. It would pay and require me to travel, in the US and further. Yes, please! The only downside is that they aren't hiring until June. That's one more month, and I'm kind of going crazy being a bum after only a week.

So the question becomes, do I put all my eggs in one basket and wait for my dream job? Or lie and say I am ready for a career in the science field to get a job that pays?

I guess we'll see tomorrow...

I can't see my reflection in the waters i can't speak the sounds that show no pain, I can't hear the echo of my footsteps or remember the sound of my own name...

Monday, April 18, 2011

New Old adventures

Night has always pushed up day, You must know life to see decay, But I won't rot, I won't rot, Not this mind and not this heart, I won't rot. And I took you by the hand, And we stood tall, And remembered our own land, What we lived for.

This town, for how big it is, can be awfully lonely. It is full of promise and potential, with buildings rising up to meet the sky, and highways carrying people to their destination, and yet, when I'm in the car, by myself I feel the full weight of being in a new city.

Most of it stems from the fact that I spent a fabulous weekend surrounded by new and old loved ones, celebrating and moving and celebrating some more, so when I finally left the last one and was sent on my way. I could catch my breath and realize the enormity of this new major move. I've gone from here to Texas to Wichita and finally full circle back to Kansas City. I left everything in a storage locker and lived a year with clothes and a few essentials. I wouldn't trade it for anything, but opening the storage locker made my days of minimalism hit home. I have a lot of things that make life convenient, but I didn't realize how attached I was to some of them.

My bed. Oh my bed. It is glorious, and all mine. And I don't have to give it up to sleep on the pull out couch! If I could hug it I would. It has been too long old friend, you have served me well.

Horton, my blue plastic elephant. He is a good travel companion but unfortunately is too big to fit in a suitcase.

My dresser. It's my favorite bright Portugal blue, but I actually get to put clothes in it. Quite a novel idea for me!

Each box brings with it a new little surprise, things long forgotten, others that I have spent ages searching for. Each box is a very odd collection of things. I forgot how exhausted I was after graduation. Every time I open a box I think, "what was I on when i packed this box" And then I remember I wasn't sleeping, barely eating and burning the candle at both ends, so I guess it makes sense that there is a box with shampoo, text books, paint, and a pillow case. What type of label do you put on that box?

This is a new adventure, regardless that the destination is one where I've already been. It's different than all the others. I'm not living with people I don't know, I don't have to worry about living out of laundry baskets if I don't want to (and believe me I don't. It's amazing how many pairs of socks I found hiding at the bottom of those things) and I get to be around new people I love.

So here's to new old adventures. One's that hold even more promise than this big city!

And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears, And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears. Get over your hill and see what you find there, With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.