I have been informed of my absence from the big bad interwebs. I love writing and have been doing a lot of it, it just isn't necessarily the most appropriate things to be posted here. But I have decided I do my best thinking in the bathroom, whether that be on the toilet, in the shower, or even brushing my teeth. So here are my recent bathroom inspired musings (i've kept them clean, don't worry) ....
I've been experiencing this really weird feeling lately. It's a mixture between nausea and spontaneous combustion, and it continues to grow stronger. At first I thought it was from a stomach bug or the dreaded swine, but no other symptoms came with it, and then at church on Sunday I think I grasped what it actually was.... my plans for the future are solidifying. Extremely.
Saying that my plans have changed in the last four months would be a dramatic understatement. My initial plans are as long gone as Michael Jackson (is it too early to be making these comparisons?) and there are no conspiracy theories to dredge them back up. I'm at peace with the passing of these plans however, and was content with not knowing what my life will bring come May 16th. However that contentment was slapped in the face two weeks ago by a brief statement said in passing by a friend. That was when the ideas started to form.
So my plans currently are in the embryo stage. They are there, but not quite yet ready to come out. The one thing that I struggle with though is that by accepting this plan and pursuing this dream I will be saying goodbye to the stereotypical life that I was raised to accept. I won't be having the white-picket fenced yard. I won't be getting married right after graduation, I won't be going to work from 9-5 in my fancy yet gas-efficient car. I will be doing things a new way, an exciting, adventurous, hold on to your hat because it's going to get rough kind of way.
That thrills me.
Yet at the same time it makes me a little tentative about the decision. So I'm going to keep incubating and nurturing this little dream-embryo and let it grow until it's ready to enter this big bad world, knock those stereotypes on their knees, and then make them beg for mercy.