My theory on relationships has been the same for awhile now, whether it be with friends, crazy Whiskey-Tango relatives, or just strangers on the street. When it comes down to it, I'm responsible for my actions and my actions only. I can only be held accountable for what I do, say or think. Anything more than that is not up to me. How people respond to my actions or words isn't something I can control. Yes I can make sure that the words I say are gentle and full of love towards the other person, but their response is not mine to be in control of.
So I'm taking responsibility for my actions and words. I'm going to be a big girl, while letting you be an adult at the same time. I'm sorry if what I have done has hurt you, or what I've said has wounded you. That was never my intent.
That being said, I don't want to hear about things happening secondhand. I don't want someone to tell me about the drama in your life, specifically when it is related to me or being blamed on me. I don't want to be held responsible for anyone else's actions. They are not mine to be judged for. I'm not going to play sides. I'm not going to draw the battle lines. I would rather feel the pain of being ostracized by others rather than force those lines to be drawn.
So that is what I'm going to do.
I'm going to be responsible for me while caring for you, even if it is from a distance. But I will not get in the way of your decisions. They are yours to make. Your life to live and I will not meddle. Or judge.
I ask you do the same.